Gutfeld: Biden has put himself in a corner

stop my mouth is so Dr oh yeah happy Monday everybody all right yeah oo the power so America's least popular reality show is still going strong yes I'm talking about the.

Bachelor Southern border millions of illegal most of whom seem to be healthy young men are walking away from all the other gals in the world to co up to the world's most eligible bachelorette that sexy lady in the long flowing gown yeah the Statue of Liberty or as I.

Like to call her a six I mean come on we could have done better so many hotter immigrants still a migrant traveling from Venezuela will literally walk through six other countries before hitting the Texas border how do they do that I go five blocks and I'm exhausted so is my.

Driver now if you're so desperate that you have to flee your nation on foot without a Visa or even a passport aren't you desperate enough not to be choosy wouldn't you be satisfied with the first reasonable option not everyone gets to marry the prom queen I mean I was dumped by mine because she was too much into.

Cheerleading practice and getting good grades that and I was 48 but why come here when there are so many places before us with people who speak the language and have better food well it's simple roughly 6 seconds after his saggy dented ass hit the oval office chair Joe threw out a welcome mat that stretched from Washington to Tiara Delo.

He may as well put up signs in Mexico saying don't stop in a few miles you'll get free meals and sex changes if you murder someone I know on top of that the UN just presented a plan giving 1.6 billion to 17 Latin American countries partially in the form of prepaid debit cards for.

Migrants now the UN gets 20% of its budget from us so we're actually paying the migrants to come here and what I know and what do you know suddenly the US had roughly 10 million new contestants that decided were the one which is why it's about time to replace the Statue of Liberty's torch with a can of pepper.

Spray metaphorically it's an analogy not literally I don't think they make him that big because the White House has turned the Statue of Liberty into a 10 Waterfront hooker no surprise takes progressivism to its inevitable end point you don't get Paradise you get chaos no person is illegal everyone is.

Welcome that sounds great in my hot tub until the entire nation of Bolivia shows up then it sounds great so what's the damage well we got to tug a war over razor wire and event verging on a constitutional crisis there's also the well-deserved impeachment hearings for DHS secretary Alejandro mayorcas who looks like a.

Cross between James Carville and a kaiser roll mayoras is a borders are only a cartel could love so go ahead and Peach away but let's not get distracted the Administration has painted themselves into a corner which is why they're now changing the rules suddenly we're being told we must negotiate that we're close.

To achieving bipartisan legislation bipartisan makes you wonder who they're trying to buy after all why the hell do we have to negotiate a border wasn't that part of the original deal the truth is we don't need legislation it's not that hard see when the Great orange wall Known As Trump came into office he instituted the.

Policy called remain in Mexico which by the way is exactly the same thing I told menudo yeah and they did but it was just that an executive order a policy issued by the president all it took was a pen and a phone two things that Biden confuses all the time which is why he has ink all over his.

Face so like most brilliant ideas remain in Mexico was simple and it worked all it meant was that migrants traveling through Mexico to claim Asylum here had to wait in Mexico for their cases to be heard in a US court now since progressives threw up every barrier to deportation they could think of that could take three years years so three.

Years waiting around but now on the Mexican side of the Border phony Asylum claims would plummet when instead of a luxury hotel they get a motel six no longer can you dream of trimming Nancy Pelosi's Hedges or screwing Arnold Schwarzenegger he's bummed and so as expected tent cities began to spring up down there Mexico.

Started looking as bad as downtown Seattle and so quickly Mexico started enforcing its own Southern border to keep migrants out imagine that remain in Mexico was such a good idea it created two different Southern borders but since this good idea was Trump's it had to be undone which is like refusing to cash in a winning lottery ticket because you.

Don't like the cashier's tie the left hates Trump so much they'd come out against banging supermodels thank you fig I think that deserves Applause so it's not hard to see why the Republicans consider this supposed bipartisan border bill as dead on a Ral as Joe himself it.

Should never have been alive to begin with and to the horror of the media Republicans aren't falling for it which is why Nut Cases like Morning Joe now accuse Republicans and Trump of murder people as as Mitt Romney said are suffering right now fentel flooding across the border illegal immigrants streaming across the.

Border Democrats and Republicans and the Senate know how to stop it yeah yeah Republicans and Donald Trump won't do it it is immoral all right all right control yourselves that's what I'm here for to call them dip all right I'll take.

It what's immoral you gas bags is your phony display of outrage now after three years of this crap either those two are stupid or they're playing stupid but they're not smart enough to pretend to be this dumb that's it is deep thankfully unlike those bozos we're not falling for it the point is remain in Mexico still works.

And just as easily As Trump did it and Biden undid it Biden can redo it I mean it's not like we're asking him to tie his shoes or acknowledge his own grandkid no negotiations no legislation we don't need to spend more Millions On the Border that's hell if you need money take what you made from selling off the border.

Wall and buy yourself a nice new pen then practice signing your name if you can remember it here he is let's welcome tonight's guest she played with the Press like it was 3D chess co-host of outnumbered Kaye magadini you might recognize him as the guy who brought your luggage up to your.

Room host of Fox News Saturday night and author of cancel culture dictionary available in stores tomorrow Jimmy B and he's so hot his wife has to wear oven mitts chef and restaurant tour Andrew Gro and like the Lions she's from Detroit and not going to the Super Bowl.

New York Times bestselling author contributor catti Kaye welcome to the show you know what I think the dem's really screwed up here if they had actually created a real bill with Solutions then if the if Trump or the Republicans didn't act you could say you don't want to solve this problem but they actually introduced a bill that.

Was justra a crap sandwich and everybody knows it it's actually codifying illegal immigration it's saying come on in that was their solution they totally blew it what say you back any first I will say I forgot my diligently researched notes so this could get wild but Jimmy said I can use his so thank you uh but look the talking points here and that's what they.

Have that's all they have is talking points are delusion right so my orcus Begins by saying I've got operational control oh wait operational control with six million people coming more than the population of 33 different states so then Biden's like let's think again oh it's been this way for 10 years except you look at the graph and it goes like.

This and then 2021 illegal encounter so bad talking point then let's blame the Republicans but wait you controlled Congress for 2 years you had unilateral control this self- delusion I haven't seen this level of self- delusion among a politician since Hillary Clinton blamed her election loss on the DNC misogyny women.

Being controlled by men Bernie Sanders and the list goes on yeah I'd hate to see what she's like with notes oh my God and I I have to say watching your hand go up like that made me think of a commercial that comes on at night oh goodness Jimmy uh tomorrow uh your book comes out um he wrote a.

Nice little note can you like close in on that at all this is a grown man this is a grown man who dots his eyes with circles does he ever your handwriting is a lot more feminine than mine know yeah I mean this is very creepy do you write do you um listen do you write Ransom notes like this grieving parents I'm just glad you kept.

My intimate note between us there was I read it first there was nothing in there bad no it was fun it was absolutely fun uh on some level I think you regret my book or you resent it because it's taller than you but uh one shot one shot I love you I would not have a book were it not for you let's I do have I do have an immigration.

Question Jimmy do you think the best way to deter migrants from the crossing the border is just have you perform standup there H as as a self-deprecating guy I would say yes but judging by the ratings for my new Saturday night show I'd have to say no i' have to say no he girl let's.

Let's reverse engineer this monologue it really was brilliant first of all I really I loved I agree with every word of it Joe Scarboro should stick to doing what he does best which is his pillow let's be honest if you look at him and ma that couple is not banging you can't be that insufferably stupid to go on TV and not see through what Biden is doing.

Do you remember the movie Backdraft that's what they're doing at the border they set the fire and now they're trying to claim responsibility for putting it out except the bill doesn't extinguish the fire you don't need a bill for remain in Mexico as you said because it would rescinded with a pen so obviously this is a scam but on some level I do.

Feel bad for the migrants getting dropped off at New York cuz they get off the bus look around and think they got deported already you know what I mean like you know what that's funny that I didn't come here to see these people like I you have to leave that was a quick flight to hondurus oh my goodness it's so true we we actually created the.

Whole we recreated the whole situation one more note and it's kind of off off message but it's because of your monologue and I love the joke when Arnold schwarzer because you joked about migrants being able to bang Arnold schwarzeneger yeah this is serious when Arnold banged the maid mhm who gets the towel.

Afterwards I I genuinely want to know because in theory the guy should get it but she's the maid I don't know these are questions that need to be never addressed again Andrew what do you think uh where where is this headed good to see you as.

Always thank you thank you that's going to be a tough there the tension there and this is a tough one to follow I mean there's as much tension as like Lindsey Graham watching late night war movies with his pants off so that's a lot that's a lot but you hit the nail on the head in the monologue is is that when they came in their entire.

Platform and policy was anything Trump had to do with we've got to destroy it right so the economy let's destroy it World Peace let's destroy it the Border let's destroy the success that he obviously had right there but I think it goes even deeper it's pettier it's more superficial this goes all the way back to Cinco DEA when Trump took the picture.

With his taco bowl right so this this is about destroying TexMex cuisine that's so if they can FL Texas with authentic Mexicans well bye-bye TM do you uh what's your feeling on texmax as a chef oh I hate it you hate it I hate it really and I just lost I'll never be able to run for political office what's the worst part of it the.

Mech or the Tex uh it's the or The Hyphen it's the cumin oh it's the cumin I can't eat the cumin and I don't want to call it the other thing yeah you know what I'm for kumin rights okay so uh I don't know why I said that perhaps because given that point that they do everything Trump does in Reverse.

Shouldn't Trump for a month solve this problem by embracing open borders just so the Dems would shut down the Border well so Joe Scarboro actually did say something that was correct he was like Donald Trump won't do anything about it is he not aware that he's not in political office of any kind right now.

Yeah I didn't understand that at all I it's it's the whole conversation so dumb and then the impeachment of May orcus and Democrats like well this is just a political move I it drives me nuts when politicians accuse each other of playing politics like that's not what they're all doing here yeah it was crazy because what he was say what Jo Joe garbar was.

Saying there complaining about the way the border is it was completely opposite of what we've been hearing for years and years and years which is again why I'm not surprised that you know that there's not a lot of Hope for this bill because it's just a lot of the and nothing ever gets off it's been since the 90s that there's been any kind.

Of overall in our immigration system it's a very different world now I'm no longer a child for example and um there needs to be changes or this problem's going to continue but I'm unfortunately especially after the Lions lost yesterday more hopeless than ever yes a perhaps the Lions should remain my first no my first week as a football fan.

Didn't go well at least Taylor won we have that oh oh really no that's okay you she won do you not think it's possible that it's rigged do you not I'm being serious do you not think it's possible you know how much money because people are watching football now the simulation needs them to win and they'll kiss and the confetti.

And oh Taylor oh come on I'm saying it's quite possible we live in a simulation that's all possible can we just give hold on let's give Taylor prop for one thing though she got liberals to admit it's okay to like white people again that's progress it's been a while for us why is it's been a while all I say is Taylor stop the.

Steel I guess that doesn't work cuz she won right I enjoyed it I don't know I don't I don't watch any football hey Sean Hannity here hey click here to subscribe to Fox News YouTube page and catch our hottest interviews and most compelling analysis you will not get it anywhere else.

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